Invasion of the Tom Snatchers
k yeah there was a sequel too, and apparently this one ended RIGHT before Total Drama School was born. There's something deeply satisfying about that. Chapter 1: Planes, Trains, and Meteors Where did the meteor come from? Tom didn't know. He was just sitting on the couch, playing his DSi, eating a taco, flirting with Kristeena. Bob pranced around the living room singing, "Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. The more you eat, the more you fart. The more you f--" "Cut it out! Nasty!" Page Ann had entered the room. "Why don't you fix that hole?" Tom randomly zoomed to Face Hardware and got a tarp and patched up the hole. Kristeena and Page Ann decided to help. But where was Rosie? Ding-dong. Tom opened the door, but it wasn't Rosie. A girl with brown hair, a phone, and a bored look on her face walked in slowly. "I'm--" Kristeena ran up to her. "Ayveen! You're Ayveen my pen pal!" The girl named Ayveen said, "Yep. That's why I'm here. What's up with the hole?" Kristeena stuttered, "Umm...umm... a train and a plane crashed into it." Suddenly, a train and a plane chugged in and tore two more holes. "Great. Planes, trains, and meteors." Chapter 2: Where The Heck Is Rosie? Tom said, "We can leave the hole alone. Let's go shopping." Kristeena replied with a mad face, "Come on. I'm supposed to say that." Bob made a face that looked like this: T_T The fantastic five got into the car and drove to the mall. But something was blocking the road. Page screamed, "OH MY GOSH! IT'S ROSIE!!!" Sure enough, it as Rosie. The purple cat sat in the car and said, "So, I heard we have 3 huge holes in our house." Finally, they were there. "Um... that looks a bit... different." muttered Ayveen. Instead of the ign saying "T3H B1G M@11" it said "Cup Paradise! Only come in if you are plastic, glass, paper, or Styrofoam cups." complete with a giant float of a Cup. Tom fainted. Page said, "Let's infiltrate the mall." So they did. They disguised themselves as cups. Ayveen was holding a clipboard. "So, you are Com, Cob, Cosie, Cristeena, Cage Can, and I'm Cupveen. Are we ready?" Hopefully. Chapter 3- Invasion of the Cup People Com, Cob, Cosie, Cristeena, Cage Can and Cupveen crept into the mall. "Okay." said Cristeena. "I'll go first." Cristeena coolly walked towards the door, but tripped on a ShamWOOHOO!. Tom stared at the now wet Cristeena. "Oh, cut it out. I'm soaked. SO WHAT?" yelled Cristeena. "I'm just going to go into the ma-- I mean, T3H B1G M@11 now. HMPH!" And she strutted away. "Oh, I forgot." Cristeena pulled Tom with her... but ran into a girl. "Who are you? You look a bit like... oh my gosh, that's scary." shuddered Cristeena. "My name is Christina. Hello." said the other girl. Cristeena screamed. "Why are you making that noise?" Cristeena grabbed Christina by the collar and said through her teeth, "Why are you so polite?" Tom toppled into a Weird Al standee, which caused a domino effect. Back at the entrance, another meteor came down and struck Bob in the head. "Hi." said Bob very blandly. Page said, "Hi, Bob..." "Hi." "Um..." "Hi." "Is that all you can say?" "Cool. Pwip. Antidisestablishmentarianism." "O-kayyy then..." Chapter 4- Cup's New Voice "Come with me." said Kristeena to her twin. "We got work to do. TOM! Get over here! Tom was in the bathroom. "TOM!!!!!!!!!" Tom came out, looking a bit dazed, with a very green expression on his face. Meanwhile, Page and Ayveen dragged Bob and Rosie and said, "Oh! There's Cup!" Cup was wearing a disguise. "'Ello my friendth. 'Ow's it going?" Page snickered, "You have a... lisp?" and broke out laughing. "Yeth, I do now have a lithp. When 'oo threw me in th' river, I got an 'ard blow on th' head. And it wath your fault!" Ayveen said, "Take off that disguise." She yanked it off but Cup screamed, "OW! Did 'oo ever think that maybe that wath a real mouthtathe?" Cup glared at Ayveen. "Now go! Go and never thet foot in thith mall--I mean T3H B1G M@11 again!" Ayveen said, "Come on Tom and everybody else! We gotta infiltrate through the back!" Chapter 5- Infiltrating through the Back Page Ann, Rosie, Bob, and Ayveen snuck out to the back of T3H B1G M@11. But their sneakiness was complicated by the appearance of three enormous, rabid guard dogs. Ayveen yelled, "I'm scared of dogs!!!!! Page, you're obsessed with animals. Feed them or something!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Page had some human flesh in her hand, and said to the dogs, "Go fetch!" The three bulldogs ran to the flash and began tearing it apart. Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Kristeena and Christina were talking about how different they were. "Well, Christina..." said Kristeena, "Do you want to see me give Tom a swirly? OK." Kristeena opened the stall door, and there was Tom, grunting and wheezing. Suddenly... tick tick tick BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!! Tom blushed. "I ate one of the berries outside T3H B1G M@11 and now I have explosive diarrhea!" Christina said, "C'mon Steen! Let's get outta here!" And the two girls ran out. 3 hours later, Tom was still in the stall. Quickly and quietly, Cup came town with a grappling hook., grabbed Tom, and went into a trap door. Chapter 6- Where's Tomdo? Cup's new lair in T3H B1G M@11 was much more detailed than his original one. He escorted Tom to a chair, and by the chair there was... Tom screamed, "Is that Middle-Aged Mutant Samurai Rats The Game? EEEEEEEEEEE! I LOVE THAT GAME!!!!!" Cup said in a bored voice, "Yes, yes, I see. It's for my little nephew Cupbert." Tom replied, "I don't think that game is good for five-year-olds. I'd recommend Where The Mild Things Are." Cup screamed, "SHADDUP AND GET IN THE CHAIR OF DOOM AND LONELINESS AND OTHER DEPRESSING WORDS!" Tom got in the chair of doom and loneliness and other depressing words. "Hey, this feels good. Is that a back massager? Aah, that's the stuff. Yeah. Hey Cup, grab me some Doritos, will ya?" said Tom. Cup said, "I think you've completely forgotten that I'm the bad guy, not your own personal Mary Cuppins. Now let me tie you up." Page Ann, Bob, Rosie and Ayveen met up with Kristeena and Christina. Page Ann exclaimed, "Hey Kristeena! Who's your friend?" Kristeena said blandly, "Long story. Now let's find Tom!" "Tom's missing?" "SHADDUP BOB!" Chapter 7-'And Now, a Word from Our Sponsor' "HI, BILLY MAYS HERE WITH THE BIG CITY SLIDER STATION. THE FAST AND EASY WAY TO PRESS AND COOK DELICIOUS SLIDERS, THOSE RESTAURANT MINI-BURGERS EVERYONE LOVES!" Tom turned off the TV. "Not me." he mumbled. Ever since he'd used those snippers to cut the rope, it had been really boring biding his time in the Cup's lair. Tom could hear Cup singing in the bathtub."Doodley-doodley-doooooooo..." Tom decided to play a little trick on him. While Cup was singing, he snuck into the bathroom and replaced the shampoo with Cheez Whiz. Tom could hear muffled complaints. "Aahhhhhh! What? What in the name of George W. Cup is this??? Aah! Orange! Mmm, it tastes good." Tom smiled. "My work here is done." and climbed out of the hideout. Shortly after crawling out, he met up with Bob, Kristeena, Rosie, Page Ann, Ayveen, and a weird girl he didn't know who looked exactly like Kristeena. Ayveen ran up to Tom and screamed, "Tom! There you are! We were sooooo worried." Tom muttered, "I wasn't. Let's go to CG Games and buy Middle-Aged Mutant Samurai Rats: The Game." The Kristeena look-alike said, "Naah, too violent. I'd recommend Where The Mild Things Are." Tom winced. Where had he heard that before? Chapter 8-'The Best Hiding Place' Tom, Bob, Kristeena, Rosie, Page Ann, Ayveen, and the weird Kristeena lookalike headed towards CG Games. Tom picked out Where the Mild Things Are and headed towards the cashier. The cashier, a morbidly obese blue bull, said in a bland voice, "Hello. How can I help---TOM?" Yes, it was their old friend Stooooo! He had finally returned! Tom asked Stooooo, "Stooooo! Why're you working here at CG Games when you could be on a quest with us?!?!?" Stooooo said, "Yes. I know. I have been working here for approximately 46 days, doing nothing but selling video games and... comic books. Bob screamed and fainted into Page Ann's arms. Page Ann said, "Will you knock it off?" Bob scurried out of Page's arms. Tom said to Stooooo, "Can we hide in your store? Cup is chasing us. In fact, he's been chasing us ever since I replaced his shampoo with Cheez Whiz. Now where can we hide?" Ayveen jumped up and down. "Oo! Oo! Let's hide behind that giant Mega Kid standee!" Stooooo said, "Good idea. Anyway, what does this Cup look like? Does he have jewels encrusted on his handle and a gold body?" Tom said, "Yeah... Why?" Stooooo said, "Because he's right outside the shop." (Editor's Note, 1/11/2018: that was it, unfortunately)